First things first, a new year does NOT mean a new you.
I am sorry to burst your bubble, but baby, you must see… that’s fucking bullshit!
What, at the flip of a switch, do you suspect that your life will change? That your mind will suddenly function in a way that you’ve always dreamed of? That out of nowhere you’ll wake up with the motivation, drive and determination to make your life the one you’ve always wanted? If you’ve figured it out, please let me know, because I’m dying to know.
I understand that a new year brings on new inspiration and in fact, stimulates your mind to work harder and finally do what you’ve been meaning to do. But I guess what confuses me most is why can’t we do that anytime of the year? Why do you need a fresh year to start?
BECAUSE ITS FUCKING HARD. That’s why. Not everyone has the ability to do that, in fact, most people quit their new year goals by March. So in order to make your life a bit less stressful, I present you with some ways that you can actually stick to your goals, any time of the year and for whatever reason.
1) Keep your goals small and achievable
Okay, I don’t mean: “I vow to wipe my own ass everyday.” I mean: “I will go to the gym, five days a week and I will accept things I cannot control if come in the way of me achieving this goal.” For example, getting sick, being out of town, or simply needing a break.
Another thing I should note is that just because your dreams are small and attainable doesn’t mean that that spark in your soul is any smaller or lighter. Everyday, I say to myself: “I will be a female version of Jamie Oliver one day and I will help change the lives of millions of people”. That, right there, is obviously not a small dream, but I still say it out loud and believe that it will happen. It’s the building blocks to getting there that are so important that’s why this next tip is crucial.
So don’t set some unrealistic crazy goal at the start of each year that is going to make it easy for you to give up on because frankly, it was never achievable to begin with. Progress takes time. If you want to be Jamie Oliver one day, what are some things you can do and work towards today that can help you get there? When we break down our goals into smaller, achievable ones, then you’ll see how much more motivated you will be to accomplishing them because you know it’s possible.
2) Be kind to yourself
If you show self compassion you are more likely to stand by your word and achieve your goals. You are only human and humans make mistakes. So instead of beating yourself up for not accomplishing something, take a deeper look on why it wasn’t accomplished. For example, if you promised yourself you’d start going to the gym three times a week, but have only been going once or sometimes twice, ask yourself why three times a week hasn’t been working versus just looking at yourself as a failure. Is it because you’ve had too many other commitments? Are there baby steps you can make to help get you to that goal?
Instead of playing the blame game, remember that you are human and look at how you could get to your end goal, even if that’s going to take you longer than you originally intended.
3) Monitor your behaviour
Everyone is different and has different motivators. Monitoring your behaviour and identifying those triggers or things in your life which make you more productive and happy are important. Being self aware is one of the most important aspects to helping you accomplish your goals. Are you more productive when you’re well rested? When you go to the gym? Are you happier when you give yourself one night off a week to just pamper yourself?
Identify those things you need to help you reach success. For some people, they find using apps, planners or calendars incredibly useful for this. It helps them organize
what’s in their head and keep track of everything they have going on. Writing down your plan for the day the night before or your “to-do” list can really help you wake up motivated and hold you accountable to power through your tasks the next day.
4) Identify your weaknesses
“I’m not going to work out because I am tired or don’t have time.” The moment you realize you make excuses when it comes to holding yourself accountable, the less likely you are to do it again. Everyone has weaknesses and it doesn’t make you a bad person, and it doesn’t mean it’s impossible to accomplish your goals. That is however, if you can identify them and know how to work on them. If you’re too tired all the time to go to the gym, maybe there is a better time of day to go then what you’re doing. If you don’t have time for something important in your life, take a hard look at what’s occupying all your time and what you could spend less time on.
5) Only make a goal or resolution if you really want to change
Don’t set a resolution just because everyone else is doing it and you feel obligated. The only way you are going to change and succeed with goal setting is if you really want to accomplish it or change. If you are setting a goal to eat healthier, but know for a fact that you hate cooking so you eat out all the time, and enjoy sweets too much to cut those out of your life, then don’t set a goal to eat healthier. You’re just going to end up failing and feeling shitty about it. You need to be ready to make a change and difference in your life. If you want something, you’re going to have to work for it. But if you don’t want it, then what on earth is motivating you to work for it?
6) Replace the bad with the good
Instead of going out drinking four times a month switch three of those nights out with a date night at the movies with a friend, out for dinner with someone who inspires you, or even go visit your family and friends (that you don’t just drink with). Just because you have a goal for yourself, doesn’t mean you have to cut all the fun out of your life. There are lots of alternatives that allow you to just change the bad to good. Look at the things in your life that are negatively effecting you or stopping you from achieving those goals and think of alternatives that are healthier or better. For example, swapping out your four social gatherings in a week for three and going to the gym one of those nights.
7) Tell your friends and your family
When you set a goal and keep it to yourself, it’s easy to not reach the goal or give up on it without anyone knowing but yourself. However, when you tell your friends and your family, post it on your social media, or whatever the case, you now have more people who are following in your journey. How annoying is it to have someone constantly asking you how something is going when you haven’t been doing it? Wouldn’t you prefer to feel bad ass about reaching your goals or staying on track when they ask?
I promise you this shit takes time and that you will not be able to make a change over night. This is a lifetime of work, but what matters is that you stick to it, let yourself grow and forgive yourself for your mistakes. Failures create warriors!
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